From Mind Fullness to Mindfulness

Getting swallowed up in the quicksand of peripheral junk that comes with the holidays is dangerously easy:  the shopping, the lists, the menus, the parties, the school plays and concerts, the traveling.  It's all for a good cause but friends, let's keep it in perspective.  It's nearly Thanksgiving-- give some thanks.  And for those of you who tirelessly give to others--and you know who you are--be kind to yourself.  Every few days Oprah efficiently reminds me in email form to be grateful, to be mindful.   She's a ka-jillionaire and has an army of Deepak's and Oz's and trainers and cooks...easy for her to say.  But for us little people, there are actual scientific studies that show how mindfulness will lower blood pressure and have generally positive benefits on health and the like.  It's a simple moment of stopping thinking and checking in with your body.  If you have the time and/or patience, it can be extended into full on meditation.  And the practice of gratitude will keep things real.  Every time I work with patients I am given the gift of perspective--that the little things I can get upset about...compared to leukemia, not so big.  When I ask my little ones what they are thankful for, they say, "For being me!"  And what more basic thing do we have to be thankful for than existing as who we are on this earth!


I am a morning person...sometimes by choice and sometimes by crying baby alarm.  I love seeing the world at sunrise.  It's so quiet, still and the day is full of promise--that moment of anticipation that is sometimes sweeter than the moment itself.   I'm particularly inspired to capture these beautiful moments when the light is just emerging and holds amazing colors.  I am not good at taking pictures;  I love digital cameras as I can snap away and filter through for one or two good ones.  The fact that these photos turned out at all is due only to the natural beauty of this place.  I love the light here in Taos and can see why so many artists were drawn to this place.  You could make a pile of bear turds look good.  In these moments--sometimes captured, most just floating around in my sub-conscious--I am fully aware, and often quite thankful for just being in that very moment.  These pictures here I snapped over the past few weeks from my porch, as I've watched the season change from a lovely fall into a quiet early winter, in a few quiet spaces I've found.


When I get anxious, angry, short tempered, I look out my window.  And breathe.  This will work anywhere, really--not just in the foothills of the Rockies, though that definitely helps.  It's the change of scenery, the injection of physical perspective into a moment that will diffuse a stressful patch.  As a person ruled largely by the left hemisphere of the brain, I've only learned to appreciate beauty for it's own sake over the last ten years or so.  C, my 7 year old, will tell me at random moments to look out of the window--at home or in the car--to notice something, a cloud, a bird, the light.  These moments give my life an unbelievable richness.  The beauty that is around us all of the time is joy made manifest in physical form.  Both older boys will set the table and want it to look beautiful just for the pure enjoyment of it being beautiful.  It's amazing how quickly and easily we can wrap our minds into a tizzy about a to do list, an upcoming meeting, a child's temper tantrum, or my nemesis, being on time.  But when you step back, look out the window at the trees and mountains (or streets full of cars and people, which has its own, different beauty) and think about how incredible it is that we are all here; that somehow this little rock flying in orbit around the sun, spinning away, happens to have just the right combination of weather and water and vegetation to allow us to live here in relative harmony...it's almost overwhelming to consider.  Whether you believe God created it or it happened through a synchronicity of perfect conditions--well, either way it is nothing short of miraculous.  Sometimes when I think about it I have a little out of body moment and get quite literally lost and a little nauseated and frightened thinking about the universe and our place in it.

I'm writing this as much as a reminder to myself, as a plea to my wonderful friends and family.  These, like so many things in life, are a practice, and despite the saying, we will never make perfect of it.  So step away from your daily drudge and consider your body as a temple, an amazing machine.  Feel your bones and height and strength.  See your family as the anti-entropic drive of life's longing for itself.  Your home as sacred.  Your road, city, town, as an amazing complex of math and science and art and humanity all thrown together to drive cars, build houses and live together--with all that entails.  And when you stop and think about what you might be thankful for--it's the most basic things, right?  Family, health, friends.  It's not really the big fancy stuff.

Slow down for a moment in this crazy time and be mindful of your self and well being.  Break off an icicle and enjoy.  Stare in awe as a crescent moon rises along with the sun.  Stop cooking dinner and look at the sun setting, casting light through a snow squall.  Know that any little (and even most of the big) transgressions shall pass.  When in doubt, add more love.  Take moments to be grateful--remember how basic our needs really are and what we most want around us.  And be thankful that you are you.